2014考研英语复习参考:名师帮你改作文(11)
The drawing shows a man who deposits a small amount of money into the bank and that turns out to be some fortune when he takes away the money later. One might think it is a bank advertisement, but in fact, as the subtitle suggests, it is a promotion that encourages all people to form the habit of exercising.
The artist uses this unique metaphor in order to endow us with the concept that, to habitually() exercises(habitually) is like to deposit money bit by bit in the bank. If we manage to exercise every day for a considerable period of time, the habit would contribute invaluably to our health. I firmly believe that exercise should become a life-long pursuit, part and parcel of our life. In this way, not only will our longevity be greatly lengthened, the improvement and maintenance of health could also lead to a happier life.
At the eve of China's hosting the 2008 Olympic Games, I think it is high time to launch a campaign spurring every citizen to exercise. Though being difficult at the beginning, we should be aware that exercise is a long-term investment that might benefit us even more than our anticipation.
Sara点评:17分,内容完整,条理清晰。句式连贯性也不错!注意个别相近词的区别。一些常用的好词组和搭配运用的很到位。基本覆盖了全部的得分点!