摘要：本文列举了各个分数段的英语书信作文。你可以首先对照范文给自己的文章打分，然后根据老师的修改意见明确自己的修改方向、努力方向。

　　▶0-4分
　　▶第一篇
　　Dear Elle,
　　I am writing to extend my sincere gratitude for you gave me help at the school party last Sunday. If it had not been for your assistance in you lend me your beautiful dress, I fear that I would have been appearing in once a year campus dancing party.
　　Everyone agrees that it was you who generously offered dress to me. Again, I would like to express my warm thanks to you! Please accept my gratitude.
　　                                                                                                      Yours sincerely,
　　                                                                                                              Li Ming
　　修改意见：
　　Dear Elle,
　　I am writing to extend my sincere gratitude for you gave me help(for 后面不能加句子，可改为your help) at the school party last Sunday. If it had not been for your assistance in you lend(改为 lending) me your beautiful dress, I fear that I would (加 not)have been appearing (appeared)in(改为at) once a year (可以用一个定语从句来修饰，此处删掉)campus dancing party(加上 ,which is held only once every year ).
　　Every one agrees that it was you who generously offered(加the ) dress to me. Again, I would like to express my warm thanks to you! Please accept my gratitude.
　　                                                                                                     Yours sincerely,
　　                                                                                                           Li Ming
　　2分
　　微点评：第一段的最后一句话中，由于没有写not，使文章的意思完全相反，因此，一定要好好研究一下虚拟语气的用法。另外，for 后面是不能加句子的。

　　▶第二篇
　　Dear Bob,
　　I am writing to extend my sincere gratitude for you to help me to improve my English during these days. If it had not been for your assistance in teaching me various knowledge including the culture of English, Then help me to practice English face to face, I fear that I would have been seek to the way of learning English for a long time without your help.
　　Everyone agrees that it was you who are warmly and likely to help others without the pay. Again，I would like to express my warm thanks to you! Please accept my gratitude.
　　修改意见：
　　Dear Bob,
　　I am writing to extend my sincere gratitude for you to help me to improve my English during these days. If it had not been for your assistance in teaching me various knowledge including the culture of English, Then(删除) help(改为helping) me to practice English face to face, I fear that I would have been seek(改为seeking) to the way of learning English for a long time without your help.(删除)
　　Every one agrees that it was you who are warmly and likely(likely 是很可能的意思)to help others without the pay(it was …who..是强调句，此句可以改为，it was you who are so warmly to help others for free). Again，I would like to express my warm thanks to you! Please accept my gratitude.
　　4分
　　微点评：写完书信要有yours sincerely 和你的名字。英语的句号是.此外，建议你看一下关于强调句和虚拟语气的知识。

　　▶第三篇
　　Dear Bob,
　　I am writing to extend my sincere gratitude for the help you give me about learning English. If it had not been for your assistance in a variety of activities including holding funny discussions with me, teaching me singing English songs, playing simple English games, and so on, I fear that I would have been searching a wrong and difficult way to learn English and feeling unhappy to learn it.
　　Every one agrees that it was you who give me many opportunities to speak English loudly, beacuse you know that I am so shy to talk with others by English. Your help raise my level of proficiency in English, and now I enjoy greatest interst in English both listening and writing.
　　Again, I would like to express my warm thanks to you! Please accept my gratitude.
　　                                                                                                 Yours sincerely,
　　                                                                                                       Li Ming
　　修改意见：
　　Dear Bob,
　　I am writing to extend my sincere gratitude for the help you give(改为gave) me about learning English. If it had not been for your assistance in (in 后面要加doing sth.)a variety of activities including(删除) holding funny discussions with me, teaching me singing English songs,(加and) playing simple English games, and so on(删除), I fear that I would have been searching(改为going) a wrong and difficult way to learn English and feeling unhappy to learn it(删除).
　　Every one agrees that it was you who give(改为gave) me many opportunities to speak English loudly, (改为.because 首字母大写)beacuse(拼写错误，改为because) you know that I am so shy to talk with others by(改为in) English. Your help raise my level of proficiency(中式英语) in English, and now I enjoy ( have)greatest (改为great)interst(拼写错误interest) in English both listening and writing.
　　Again, I would like to express my warm thanks to you! Please accept my gratitude.
　　                                                                                                         Yours sincerely,
　　                                                                                                                Li Ming
　　3分
　　微点评：标点符号与后面的单词之间空一格。叹号后面的第一个单词首字母也要大写。单词拼写的错误尽量避免。建议你好好学习一下有关虚拟语气的知识点，多读一些英语文章，可有效杜绝中式英语。

　　▶第四篇
　　Dear Bob,
　　I am writing to extend my sincere gratitude for your warm help in the process of my seeking job conformed to my past decades training, after i graduated from peking university.
　　If it had not been for your assistance in recommendation to the prestigious company in China. i fear that i would have been on the job road back and forth .i really appreciate this precious opportunity ,which you offered. every one agrees that it was you who wrote a letter to the esteemed company boss, regarding as my qualifications ,education back –ground ,and my special skills at computer program which i have a huge intrest in. Again, I would like to express my warm thanks to you! please accept my gratitude.
　　修改意见：
　　Dear Bob,
　　I am writing to extend my sincere gratitude for your warm help in the process of my(删除my) seeking job conformed to my past decades training, after i(大写)graduated from peking university(两个单词的首字母大写).
　　If it had not been for your assistance in recommendation (改为recommending)to the prestigious company in China. i(大写)fear that i would have been on the job road (中式英语)back and forth .i really appreciate this precious oppotunity(拼写错误opportunity) which you offered. every one(首字母大写) agrees that it was you who wrote a letter to the esteemed company(删除) boss, regarding as(删除) my qualifications ,education back –ground ,and my special skills at computer program which i have a huge intrest in(删除). Again, I would like to express my warm thanks to you! please(首字母大写)accept my gratitude.
　　                                                                                                           My sincerely,
　　                                                                                                                Li Ming
　　4分
　　微点评：作文内容很丰富，但是你的表达能力还有待提高，而且要注意书信的写作格式，以及大小写的问题。

　　▶第五篇
　　Dear teacher,
　　I am writing to extend my sincere gratitude for your help to improve my English. If it had not been for your assistance in the respect of English writing, I fear that I would have been so outstanding achievement.
　　Every one agrees that it was you who are kindness and duty.It seems that you don’t feel tired forever. Again, I would like to express my warm thanks to you! Please accept my gratitude.
　　                                                                                                         Yours sincerely,
　　                                                                                                                Li Ming
　　修改意见：
　　Dear teacher,
　　I am writing to extend my sincere gratitude for your help to improve my English. If it had not been for your assistance in the respect of English writing(in 后面应该加动名词，此外，respect 是尊敬的意思，用词不当), I fear that I would have been so outstanding achievement.(这句话是虚拟语气，意思是如果不是你的帮助，我恐怕将会…)
　　Every one agrees that it was you who are kindness and duty(it was…who…是个强调句，这句话的意思是每个人都说是你…例如帮助我)It seems that you don’t feel tired forever. Again, I would like to express my warm thanks to you! Please accept my gratitude.
　　                                                                                                      Yours sincerely,
　　                                                                                                             Li Ming
　　2分
　　微点评：英语的句号是.你的英语基础比较薄弱，建议你多看看英语范文，背一些模版。